Creatives: This is my portfolio. Clients: So looks a creative portfolio.

Anyway, enough unnecessary filler copy.

Here, I put my “work” right up front for you:

Enjoy browsing ad nauseum!

. . . . . . .

[INSERT CLEVER LINE HERE]

Were you expecting to read about my “niche”?

Are you dying to see my “core values” here?

Because I do it all, with creative intuition.

No, that’s not only a bashful humblebrag.
It’s also the answer to the previous questions.

[INSERT BAD AD-MIRABLE PUN HERE]

Do you find this site lacking in clichéd headers, marketing

references to Nike/Coke, and flex-worthy highfalutiness?

Would you feel more satiated being fed word salads?

Let’s work together. I’ll make it all up to you.

Okay, here are the most important words:

Uzi hates writing about himself, but loves writing about others

and their products. He also does strategic brand positioning,

clever ad campaigns, and memorable naming.

He also sometimes refers to himself in third-person.